Erm, so, I’ve just discovered that I’ve been missing a whole load of notifications of replies to comments, especially on your blogs, because I didn’t realise where I was supposed to look for them… think this has been going on ever since I started this blog…Sometimes I get an email notification of replies and comments and so on, but often I don’t, and it turns out there were a whole load of notifications that I’ve been missing. I wasn’t looking in the right place.
I’m so sorry!! Partly it is because of the poor internet access I had until last month but that’s not entirely to blame. I am very new to blogging and I’m not the best with computers and technology especially if I’m posting from my phone.
You are all so supportive and kind and matter so much to me and I feel really rubbish that I’ve missed so many responses and not replied to you. Please accept my huge apologies and know that I am really thankful for all the time you take to write.
This week I planned to get all caught up here on comments and visiting your blogs. However as so often happens, things took a different term and I seem to be as useless as the proverbial handbrake on a tortoise. And moving at a similar speed too!
This hasn’t been a very stable week. I had a meeting with my new support worker, a difficult consultation with my GP, two relationships breaking down very painfully, an important but emotional group therapy where something that occurred brought flashbacks of a frightening incident in my childhood for which I feel responsible. Also I got some very unexpected news and had a conversation that seemed to throw everything. I’ll post about it in due course once I’m more able to cope.
Not big things in the grand scheme but I’ve got behind again. So once again, I’m sorry for being so slow to answer messages. I care and I’m praying for you and I’m sorry for how I struggle to write.
Today is my day off. This morning was horrible with very bad back pain and feeling really low, but I managed to get out to a weekly coffee meeting. I can’t always go to this because of my work but I like to go when I can. I first started after I was in hospital, when another patient told me about it. It’s a kind of support group for local people with mental health needs, although it doesn’t take any particular structured form and is just like friends meeting for coffee. Most of us, including the lady who coordinates it – a lovely caring person who unobtrusively helps and advises many people in need – have been inpatients at some point in our lives. We all face a variety of mental health challenges. We don’t necessarily tend to be in touch between meetings but it is something regular in the diary to look forward to and where we know that we can talk about how things are if we need to, not talk if we don’t want to, where we empathise with each other and where there isn’t the usual pressure to keep up a front and appear “fine”. I think these sources of peer support are few and far between and I’m very grateful for it and the little cafe that welcomes us for a few hours every week.
[Image from “Gilmore Girls” (episode PS I love you) – created by Amy Sherman Palladino, all rights belong to respective artists]